Moving Forward
by MasterofCFIT
Summary: AU, Lt. Commander Parker never got murdered. Jordan goes to see Harm again, set after Harm leaving the CIA. Reviews welcomed!
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I'm not a writer, nor an author so if there are any massive mistakes that's why, also I am dyslexic so if chapters take a long time, or have mistakes (again) I am sorry, but I do try! Anyway, I hadn't seen any fics involving Jordy (Jordan Parker) which makes me sad, because who didn't think she was just a doll in dress blues? Story set after Harms return from the CIA, this is AU obviously because Jordy should be dead by this time, but lets pretend that never happened! So any time line following his return shall be pretty much disregarded. Many thanks and read on!

Harmon Rabbs apartment - North of Union Station - 2045 EST

A more than worn out Harm had slumped into the surprisingly welcoming couch after the days dusting with a bottle of beer in tow. He was now aware of just how much flying and spraying crops for the most part of the day had taken it out of him, a sigh of relief followed the swig of the cold larger as the refreshment moistened his dry throat.

Deciding that music was a necessity after dinner and with no having to work through cases at home Harm struggled to his feet to find something to go along with his mood, he was still adjusting to not being at JAG or having extra work to be done in his sparse personal time, working for the CIA had him so busy and off kilter that he never had time to notice, now though the silence was almost offensive as he sat, alone.

Musical choices made and stereo turned on he retreated back to the couch to let tune of The Dock Of The Bay, as Otis Reddings voice wafted across the room and to his ears, to avail of the empty feeling there was a light wrap on the door.

Lt. Commander Jordan Parker was standing outside Harms apartment door, wondering whether to knock or not. She had seen Harms face on TV after he had landed the C130 Hercules on an aircraft carrier.

Jordan silently mused "It couldn't have been anyone else! I don't even know why I was surprised to see his face step out of it!" but she had noticed the entire lack of Navy uniform and after being out of contact for so long she was curious as to what he was doing, and to how he was, remembering his smile from the news reel her hand went up and knocked on his door, with out a conscious thought, silently she was screaming, hoping he wasn't in, but she knew she heard music so the opening of the door was inevitable, all while this mental war was going on, Harm was looking at her with one raised eyebrow, wondering why he hadn't had a response to his opening of the door, Harm gently asked "Jordy? Are you okay, is everything alright?" Jordans ears pricked at the use of the nickname "Oh, god! Sorry Harm, I was miles away! I.. I, well I saw you on TV, Your still flying? I was just wanting to pop in and see how you'd been and.. Well uhh" a small smile crossed Harms face, his eyes regaining some sparkle as he replied "Jordy, slow down, one at a time! Come in, come in!" Chuckling Harm stepped out of the door way to give her entry to the loft.

Jordan sat down in about the same style of huff as Harm had almost two hours ago looking around she noticed that not much of the apartment had changed at all

"Would you like something to drink?" Harm asked before taking a sip of his own drink Jordan mused over it for a moment before answering "Just a water, please"

As soon as Harm had retrieved a bottle of water he sat back down adjusting one of the arm chairs to face Jordan on the couch, quietly taking in her appearance, not much had changed, her just blonde hair looked fine wrapped into its tight bun, she was still as striking in service blue uniform as the day he had met her in that uncomfortably cold interview room.

Jordan, for her part was noticing the lines under Harms cold blue eyes, the lines were deeper and ran longer than they used to, his eyes too had lost a measure of warmth, glazed over so to speak she was drawn away from her internal thoughts "So what did you want to know first?" She thought the words sounded cold, disconnected but what did she expect? They hadn't seen each other or even talked in what was it now? 2 years? No, 3 years he concluded but still she had to answer so without looking up from the water cradled in her hands she spoke "Well, your still flying?" Her eyes risked a glance upwards to view his expressions go from surprise, to intrigue as he answered "Yes, I still fly. But not for the Navy, not for the CIA anymore either. I fly crop dusters at the moment, I needed a job after leaving the 'company' and happened to fall into it, it pays the bills and I get some stick time still" "And that answered my next question about you being in the Navy or not, Im sorry for dropping in all of a sudden with no warning, but I just.. I don't even know Harm, needed to see you again and make sure you were okay" Looking back down as she finished her sentence, shifting her body on the couch trying to find comfort even though she knew it was only a mental shift that was needed. Harm nodded in agreement and took enough time before replying that Jordan had started to become truly afraid of her coming here.

"Thank you Jordy, I know its, well a bit strange of me to say this, but uh, that means a lot to me, after leaving the Navy I haven't really had any contact with anyone, its nice to sit and talk with someone, with you. I've missed you Jordan, and its as much my fault as yours that we haven't spoken in some time... But with me still flying and my life all over the place I didn't feel like contacting you would make things better, but just re hash old scars"

"Harm, maybe not to re hash old scars, but is the crop dusting less dangerous than doing quals, night traps and being part of a combat group?" This time blue eyes met blue eyes, Jordans darting an dancing to try and take in all the expressions as they passed over Harms face.

"Actually, I don't know. To a point it could be safer, its certainly not landing on a deck at night, but it does involve flying extremely low around trees, roads, power lines those sorts of things, but its only a temporary job, just to keep some cash flow and to keep my head busy" his face cracked into a tamed version of his usual grin and Jordan contented herself that although he wasn't completely okay now, he would be soon enough and with that thought she was stranded with no more to say when Harm stood up speaking over his shoulder making his way to the kitchen "I'm assuming here, Jordy, that with you still being in uniform that you haven't stopped since you left work. Have you eaten yet?"


	2. Chapter 2

A/N- Reviews are more than welcomed! I don't know how to write, so don't be shy if I'm screwing the pooch!-

Same night. Harmon Rabbs apartment.

Jordan hadn't realized just how hungry she was until she smelt the reheated lasagna that was sitting in front of her on the breakfast bar, they both ate quickly, Jordan, because she wanted to get back to the conversation, and Harm because he was slightly nervous, anxious and very confused as to why Jordan had turned up, not the he minded having her here, even after their time apart she still had given him a welcoming, warming almost homely feeling.

Dinner and some of the dishes dealt with, armed with hot drinks they returned to their respective seats in the living room. At least, for Jordan having had something to eat had done wonders in recovering some of her confidence and was now looking up instead of at her hands.

Slowly she spoke "Right, I don't really know how to really say what I'm thinking at the moment, so please try not to interrupt me?" After seeing Harms somewhat confused nod in agreement she forged on "I'm sorry, first off, Harm. I'm sorry for not understanding why you had to go flying again, and for just leaving you on hearing the news, I knew it was just a six month deployment, but I just couldn't process the news and ran from it instead, which is why you were confronted with an ultimatum. I am sorry for leaving Harm, and I know I should have waited for you. And I regret not waiting, to a point. And I miss you, Harm" she finished lamely, before her throat could clog up anymore than it already had, a shocked Harm sat blankly staring at a point about a foot above the blond bun wound into her hair, mouth open trying desperately to process her words, he knew the sentence hadn't been an essay, but it was still a lot for a relatively tired Harmon Rabb to take in. The silence grated at both of them, until Harm finally found his voice, thinking that now was as good a time as any to actually act on any feelings that wallowed into his mind, quietly and with a slight undercurrent of uncertainty he spoke "I'm sorry, I never meant to hurt you Jordan, please believe that. I've always dwelled on how selfish it was, so to that end I owe you an apology" Harm quickly drew in a breath, surprised that such a short line of conversation had left him with empty lungs.

Getting up and pacing up and down the lounge side of the breakfast bar Jordan felt a momentary loss for the years she had avoided contacting Harm, brushing it aside she paced to the far end of the bar and turned to see Harm with his head in his hands, the fingers parting little tufts of hair, looking truely sorry himself about the lack of contact over the years ' _well I guess it does take two to tango'_ she mused, but this was not a picture of Harm she wanted to remember, without too much thought she moved on silent feet behind his armchair, leaned down over his back and wrapped her arms around his chest, resting her face on his shoulder blade, relishing the familiar smell of his very particular cologne.

Harm was doubting most of everything that had happened in recent times until he felt a pair of warm arms envelop him and a smooth cheek resting on his back, feeling her breath graze his skin through the fabric, making the years between them fall into minutes, fearful though, fearful to hope that she would want to stay, or was it come back? He wasn't sure on what any of tonight could be signaling and forced himself to not become too hopeful, but this contact, warm, familiar, comforting, he was soaking it like a life blood. Jordan didn't want to move, she couldn't stand seeing him conflicted, and if she was honest with herself didn't want to loose the feeling of actually being there for him, trying to comfort him, trying again to be part of his life, ' _but a better part of his life, a constructive role, an important part, more than a lover, better than a friend.. A partner? Would I use that word? C'mon girl, don't get your hopes up, this is still Harm, I don't know how high you can jump, you just have to hope its as high as his walls!'_ Her thoughts were ended abruptly, realizing that it was indeed the third time she had heard her name uttered almost under his breath "Jordan? You awake?'' "Yeah, I'm awake Harm, what is it?" "Well, its Friday night, I was.. uh, wondering if you would… like to, um, go out for some lunch or something with me tomorrow?" still slightly spellbound she answered "Of course Harm, I'd love to, what did you have in mind?" "Well that would be ruining a perfectly good surprise now wouldn't it?" Laughing slightly while he added "Just make sure you bring something warm with you okay? And I'll pick you up…." with that he realized that they weren't three years in the past and didn't know where she was living anymore "Or you could just meet me here and eleven hundred hours?" Jordan smiled a little as he figured out his mistake, "Yeah sure Harm, I'll meet you here at eleven" He felt her smile on his back and subconsciously loosened up a little, feeling this Jordan smiled even more, getting up, letting her hands stroke there way up his arms to his shoulders before parting with him, standing at the door she turned as he opened it, deciding to push her luck a little she got onto her tippy toes and landed a soft peck to his cheek and spoke a soft "Until tomorrow, Sailor" before retreating to the hallway and looking back to take in the sight of her handywork as he smiled, a full proper smile as he slightly bowed his head before closing the door.

Almost jogging down the stairs as she headed towards her car, Jordan felt many things, relief that she had finally apologized for what happened when they had parted, a little anxious of what tomorrow might bring and hopeful of what the future might hold for them, she knew, when she got home she was going to either sleep soundly for the first time since returning to the states or, stay up all night like an excited child on Christmas Eve.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3 "Say hello, Mattie"

10:52 Hours, Harmon Rabbs apartment.

Harm had been sitting on the couch, make that fidgeting on the couch for the past twenty minutes, the third cup of coffee not helping his cause in the slightest, if he was to be honest with himself he was nervous, anxious, it had been a very long time since he had been to the effort of planning a ' _date'._

' _Would I even call it a date? Come on man, pull it together, it will be what ever it turns into… Not, I repeat NOT! A disaster it will be fine, yeah.. Fine'_ Under his breath he managed to croak"Yeah right"

Little did he know that a gorgeous blonde was pacing up and down his hall waging a mental battle with herself… Again.

' _He wouldn't care if I was early, I know that but I don't want to seem too… Eager? Keen? Oh I don't know, surely not, I doubt he's even ready to go right now'_

With a glance towards her watch, which was reading five to eleven she groaned, walked up to the door in question and with a groaned, barely audible "Fuck it" knocked twice on the frame.

Shaken from his own thoughts Harm jumped and lunged towards the door, covering the distance in two large strides, swinging the door open to reveal a somewhat nervous looking Jordan, her blonde hair waving down decorating her shoulders and cascading over her delicate collar bones, giving soft contrast and drawing subtle attention to the soft, pale skin, just visible through the open collar of the smooth black knee length coat.

The light in her eyes gave them a blue green tinge, like an angry piece of open ocean, yet the way her ever so slight smile was framed by her gentle jaw line, and the way he could see her smile in those eyes made what could be an angry, tossed ocean clear and flat as glass, in short, Harm was breathless.

Jordan, for her part could tell what was coursing through Harms mind, his ever expressive eyes had once again given him away, and the fact that he was still swaying slightly to find his balance.

With a inquisitive eyebrow raised her soft voice penetrated the silence"Are you, uh, going to invite me in, Harm?"

Embarrassed, Harm sheepishly stepped out of the door way allowing Jordan in.

With Harm already wearing his well weathered leather jacket Jordan had a fair idea of what was on the agenda today, and also very much regretted the choice to wear her hair down and then simultaneously the realization that she hadn't brought anything with her to tie her hair up with crept down her neck like a winter chill.

"I'll just get my bag and we'll get going!" said Harm as he trotted to the "go" bag he had sitting at the base of the breakfast bar "Hey, Harm, would we possibly be able to make a stop on the way, I forgot to get a hair tie" Harm stopped, dropped the bag from his shoulder and with out thinking walked to the coffee table and began to rummage around the magazines and coasters "Ah ha!" he exclaimed before making his way back to Jordan to hand her a hair tie.

Confused Jordan asked "I'm not sure I want to know, but why do you have hair ties in your apartment?" With only a smile to hint that he had something up his sleeve he replied "You will find that out today, are we ready to go?" with a nod for confirmation Jordan and Harm strolled out, locked up got into the Corvette and on the way to Blacksburg.

The trip had been so far covered in relative silence, not an uncomfortable silence but silent all the same.

Harm pulled the 'Vette off a side road into a small diner "thought we'd stop for some lunch on the way?" "Good idea! I'm starving" Jordan exclaimed with a trace smile as she shut her door and turned to him.

Lunch, small talk and the rest of the trip to Blacksburg out of the way they had arrived at Grace Aviation, walking together towards the hanger Harm spotted his Stearman sitting outside under a clear sky.

He turned to Jordan "Well this is our ride for the evening" pointing a thumb to the yellow bi-plane "there's a office and bathroom in the hanger, you can drop your bag in the office, take a panic piss and then we'll go?" Jordan snorted, suppressing a laugh "Yeah, sure thing" and with a laugh she trotted off with an excited jump to her step to the office to tie up her hair and drop the bag off where her excited skipping was stopped dead by a small teen with vivid, curled bronze hair pulled back into a tight pony tail "You must be Harm's plus one?" she spat into the room with little concern of projection in the small space, Jordan hadn't even had the time to put her bag down, it hung limp on her shoulder as she stood, mouth agape staring at the small girl, it wasn't the statement itself but the tone of it that stopped her in her tracks.

"Alright, Mattie, throttle back you still get to go up today, just not for as long as usual. Mattie, meet Jordan, Jordy, this is Mattie" Leaning on the door way Harm had watched the short and one sided battle wage until he couldn't stand the silence between the two any longer.

"Right Matt's, we'll be back in a hour and a bit, be ready okay?" with that, Mattie's demeanor changed like night to day, she acknowledged Harm with a crisp smile and nod, resuming to bury her head in Grace Aviation's receipt books, with that Harm and a off center Jordan wondered over to the bi-plane waiting patiently on the apron for them.

"What was that all about, Harm?" "Hah, that, well she's, how would I put it? My boss? I fly the dusters for her, and she also kindly lent you that hair tie I gave you this morning, but lets keep quiet on that for now! I'll explain more tonight" Harm laughed from under the engine as he was doing the pre-flight check on the Stearman, being very mindful of a particular length of fuel hose.

With a pre-flight check complete and a firmly secured and reassured Jordan in the front seat Harm began to turn the prop by hand, making sure the engine turned freely and no oil had pooled in the lower cylinders of the Continental radial, satisfied he hoisted him self into the rear cockpit, belted himself, turned the fuel taps on, pushed the starter button and flicked the magneto switch on once the propellor started turning and relished in the feel and smell as the engine roared into cold, unsteady life. Only after cracking the throttle open slightly more to get the engine to fire on all seven cylinders did it settle into the familiar steady rumble that Harm enjoyed so much.

With clearance and making sure to talk Jordan through the process in a attempt to qualm her worries the throttle was pushed wide open and the craft vibrated, surged and lunged its tail into the air as it awkwardly trundled down the runway, reaching a suitable take off speed Harm gave gentle back pressure on the stick and suddenly the Stearman became a graceful machine, like a gosling on the ground, stuck to waddling and wading, once airborne it grew to a soaring swan free to roam the skys with grace and direction.

Even with no prior experience of being in anything smaller than a 737, Jordan, too noticed the awkward feeling on the ground, which had worried her immensely, even so, the moment the wheels left the ground she couldn't help but whoop in excitement, the feeling of flight was intoxicating, something you just don't get on a airliner, to her they felt just like being on a train or bus, but this was soaring. Feeling every pocket of warm air every control input that Harm was applying. She felt almost giddy with the air rushing around her, and the view of the world from only 1500 feet was unlikable to anything she had experienced before.

"I think I understand now, Harm! Why you had to go back, why your so in love with this, this, this feeling! I truly think I understand why I could never have stopped you"

Harm smiled, that was the point of taking Jordan out flying today, to make her, or at least try to make her understand why, but this was only the first part of his plan.

"Hey Jordy, take the stick?"


	4. Chapter 4

Thank you for the reviews. Steamboat, you used to have an account on FF? Im sure I've read some Jag stuff under that name?

Same day. 2000 feet somewhere over Blacksburg.

Had she heard Harm right? "… _Take the stick"_ broken from her thoughts she heard him over the radio again "Gently grab the stick and rest your feet on the pedals, you don't need to grip it, just hold it and don't be tense" with the wind buffeting around her face she gingerly took hold of control over the plane.

An hour and a half later Harm had Jordan fly them around for a while then guided her back to the airfield, once there he took control to get them in the traffic pattern and set them up to land asking Jordan to still hold the controls, but just follow his movements as he flew the approach and settled the Stearman on the earth again, Jordan barely able to hold a laugh when the graceful creature took on the essence of a gosling once on the ground again, she would forever think of its awkward taxiing as waddling.

Harm had gotten out of the parked plane first, grabbing Jordan by the waist as she hit the ground from the small drop from the wing to the ground below "How was that then?" "Oh Harm!" she exclaimed "That was beautiful! I don't have any other words for it, I've never been in a small plane, its so different! Thank you!" caught in the excitement of the flight and with a head full of swirling thoughts and emotions Jordan had temporarily thrown caution to the wind, throwing her arms around Harms neck and stepping up on her toes deposited a kiss to his cheek, much like the night before and Harm was happy himself, seeing Jordan being carefree around him, the smile vivid on her wind bitten face, today was going to plan after all.

After taking Mattie for her half hour of flight the Stearman once again trundled its way towards the hanger, its propeller coming to an abrupt stop as the engine coughed its final shot of life "How about some dinner that isn't pizza, Matt's?" Harm asked as he helped the teen fall from the wing back to solid ground "Ohhhh yeah! Thanks, Harm!" Mattie beamed, the flight had been fantastic as usual, thanks to Harms careful and patient teaching style, Mattie had figured out steep turns and how to climb and descend while making a turn, all valuable skills to have, especially for her next lesson of doing circuits around the airfield and setting up landing approaches, Harm was proud of her progress and of Jordan's too.

Mattie and Harm made their way back to the hanger talking about how the flight went and laughing with each other, Jordan was waiting in the office, standing with a mug of coffee in hand examining the wall calenders and model airplanes strewn around the small space when Mattie came in and stood next to her "Jordan?" she asked quietly "Yes?" "Hello, I'm Mattie" offering her hand to shake "I'm sorry about being rude to you before, I just…. Harms been the only one around for me, and the thought of him not being around because he has someone new… I suppose I was jealous? Either way I'm sorry" Jordan reached out and shook Mattie's outstretched hand "Its okay Mattie, but you don't need to worry, I'm not 'new' to Harm and I also don't want to take him away from you, I'm not entirely sure whats going on, but I won't be in the way, I promise" Harm was watching, making sure Mattie actually apologized to Jordan before speaking up "Well, I'm glad that's settled, who wants to go get a bite for dinner?" Both woman nodded.

With everything stowed away and the Hangers locked up Harm and Jordan got back into the Corvette having agreed on having dinner at a local motel that happened to only be five minutes down the road, Jordan was confused on how they would meet Mattie, after all the corvette only had two seats.

When they arrived Harm parked next to a rather beat up, rusty Ford flatbed truck, looking over, Jordan saw Mattie step out of the left side _'she didn't drive herself did she?!'_ almost reading her thoughts Harm spoke "She drives herself around, apparently the local law enforcement know about it and leave her alone" Jordan looked at him, with a shocked look "I know, it beats me!"

Walking through the double doors to the reception of the diner Jordan glanced around the small establishment with its two by two seating separated by plastic topped tables, not quiet the dinner night she had in mind, but then again, she hadn't bargained on dining with a teenager tonight either _'Oh well, make the most of it Jordan'_ letting a small sigh slip as she sat next to Harm, as opposed to across from him, picking up a menu _'Make the most… Hmpf, wasn't this supposed to be a date?'_

Looking across the table to Mattie as she was having a somewhat animated conversation with Harm, not doubt about her flight, Jordan couldn't understand or explain the jealousy that was causing a slight knot in her stomach, putting it to the back of her mind, she would have to try and get along with Mattie, for the sake of both of them, she just hoped she could find some common ground and soon.

"So how'd you like the experience, Jordan?" Mattie beamed from across the table "I think its still settling in, but I loved it! The wind, the smell and the views!" Mattie smiled, she had a feeling that if Jordan kept seeing Harm she would definitely be flying more, she was hooked, maybe not completely, Mattie gave it a week or two at most before Jordan would have a itching feeling that could only be scratched at 1500 feet or more.

Smiling that the two women who were with him happened to be getting along Harm decided to prod them towards the menus so they could order something to eat.

Harm cringed and wrinkled his brow as Mattie ordered, it was no use, he knew what she would get, they had been here many times before, Mattie just laughed him off, the expression on his face was just too good! She didn't mind eating healthier, but ordering something greasy every time they came here was amusing, to see him squirm slightly. Jordan couldn't help but see the grin on both of their faces as they shot looks and different faces at each other _'He's acting rather… Fatherly, huh, Mr. Rabb of all people'_ "Well since you seem off put by the idea of a burger, what are you getting, Harm?"

"Just the chicken salad for me" With he grin he turned back to Mattie giving her a ' _So there!'_ expression.

Looking through the less than extensive menu Jordan had decided on the salad as well, it seemed everything else was either deep fried or grilled. Pot of coffee on table along with orders the conversation became stilted as everyone present suddenly discovered they were alot more hungry than what they had all thought.

Letting their meals digest with a mug of coffee each, Harm didn't like Mattie drinking it, but some habits were going to be impossible to break, Mattie asked Jordan abit about her past, military life, life before the military, all was fine until "So what about your childhood? The only things we've talked about seem to start from the last year of OCS, what was before?" Jordan groaned inside, she hadn't told Harm anything about her childhood days, other than that tidbit she had told to try and get Chloe out of the elevator shaft, but now, she supposed was as good a time as any for him to hear some of the past "Well, um… As Harm knows from years ago, I liked to creep into my parents garage and sit in the rafters when things got too much, when really all I needed was someone to talk to, I would've talked to my parents, but my father had some issues with alcohol, he had been sober since I was maybe four years old? At a guess, but he still had alot of… Anger problems, I was eight when I first saw him strike my mother, and that's when I started going into the rafters, to get away from the yelling. The violence. When I finally had the courage to talk to Mom about it, she already had her bags packed and was leaving, she took me with her when she left, but after months of going from one place to the next, and with her struggling to find a job I had to go back to live with him… So after years of silently avoiding his outbursts I ran away when I was sixteen, got a job waiting tables, cleaning dishes, anything to make ends meet, I was taking a psychology course during the day, then working the nights, eventually I couldn't afford to keep going the way I was and decided to join the navy so I could finish my studies and have employment."

Taking a deep breath after finishing her 'story' she looked to both Harm and Mattie who's mouths were both open and with looks of, curiosity but mostly empathy and understanding in their eyes.


End file.
